- A St. Patrick’s Day t-shirt
Why I wanted it: St. Patrick’s Day cheer, duh.
Why I didn’t get it: By far the worst option of any of these shirts. It is amazing what you want based purely on timing.
- A candle poured into a gold ceramic owl, with a lid
Why I wanted it: OWLS.
Why I didn’t get it: Gold isn’t part of my current color scheme. Also flames shooting out of an owl’s head seemed less calming than other candle options.
- A lantern carrier
Why I wanted it: Seemed romantic, rustic, and looked like something from that idyllic store on Abbott Kinney where I can’t afford anything but where I want to hide in the patio area until they close and can’t find me and then I can live there forever.
Why I didn’t get it: Seemed less important than shelves for all the clothes currently living on the ground in my room.
- A bar stool
Why I wanted it: Could work as a modern-ish chair for the desk that I stand at, wishing I had a chair.
Why I didn’t get it: Could only work if I set the desk up on a stage. Not the right vibe.
- A kimono, size XX large
Why I wanted it: Been dreaming of a robe to wear around the house that doesn’t make me look like I should be filing for unemployment or eating cereal for all meals.
Why I didn’t get it: I am not a size XX large, even though does it matter for a kimono? This was a close call.
- A pair of Saucony sneakers, color pale pink
Why I wanted it: Um, hello.
Why I didn’t get it: Already own a pair of Saucony sneakers, AND a pair of pale pink sneakers.
- A shelving unit, on sale, “as is”
Why I wanted it: Need furniture, matched decor.
Why I didn’t get it: Missing all panes of glass, still over $100. TJ Maxx, this is some bullshit. Do less.
- A tray
Why I wanted it: Desperately want to display candles on a tray, curated over a fuzzy blanket on a low table for maximum effect.
Why I didn’t get it: Don’t have any of the other things for this ensemble. Thinking the tray might need to be the last piece, not the first.
- A different tray
Why I wanted it: See above.
Why I didn’t get it: See above, but barely, because this tray looked like a marbled universe and how can you refuse that?
- Honey butter popcorn
Why I wanted it: I had been in the store for 1.75 hours and would have eaten anything in my sightline at checkout.
Why I didn’t get it: I didn’t have any free hands to grab it on account of all the things I was about to buy.
Moral: With enough self-talk, you too can convince yourself not to buy almost 87 percent of the things you don’t need at TJ Maxx, and only return with a furry rug, a pom-adorned basket, and a pair of boots that look very much like the ones you wore to the store in the first place.