“Eight has her shoes on and looks ready to go.”

eyes widen “Noooooo!”


“So much nope. She’ll ruin everything.”

“Maybe not.”

“Remember what happened in your year?”


“OK, well this is really important and, no offense, but I don’t want it to happen again.”

“First of all, yes offense. And also, you go tell her, in her little pink saddle shoes, that she can’t come with.” 

“When you put it that way…”

shrugs “Just tell her she has to stay quiet.”

“I’m not mad at her.”

“I know.”

“Can she hear us?”

“No. She was looking for that yellow plastic purse in the bottom of your closet.”

“Oh good lord.”

“It’s cute!”

rolls eyes “Twenty Five.”

“Oh, come on, it’s cute for her.”

yells “Hey, Eight, are you ready??”

grins “Yeszh!”

“”Do you want a jacket? Your sunflower dress is sleeveless, and it might get cold.”

“Nah, I’m good. We’re going on a daytzhe, rightzh?”

sighs “Yes. We’re going on a date.”

“Word. Bye Tzhwentzhy Five - don’t wait up!”

“Bye Eight. Listen to Thirty One when she tells you things, got it?”

“She doeszhn’tzh know everything.”

“No, she doesn’t.’

turns around “I heard that. Let’s go.” 


walks “I need you to be still and quiet and good tonight, Eight.”

“I szhwear.”

“Pinky swear?”


“OK, shh, starting now.” speaks loudly “Hi! Sorry I’m late.”

“Not a problem. I ordered you a glass of white.”


“Um, no that’s great, thank you.” whispers “Hush, Eight.”

“So, what do you do?”


clears throat “Ahem, excuse me, I’m a research associate for the Jones Museum.”

“Sounds exciting.”

“Itzh iszh!”

whispers “Eight!”

whispers “Whatzh? I love your job.”

“Yeah, I know how it sounds. But I’ve actually always wanted this job.”

“So, you’re a little bit of a nerd, that’s OK, we can work with that.”

Eight groans and makes puking noises

Are you not?”

“I just meant, you must read a lot. You were probably like good at school and…?”


“What’s that?”

“Um, I mean, I guess?”

“You have a little bit of a lisp, don’t you?”

“No, no, I just…I talk to the sides sometimes?”

“What does that mean?”

“It doeszh…it iszh…nothing. Will you excuse me?”


“Eight!” runs into bathroom, finds Eight hiding in a stall

Eight, I can see your shoes poking out under the door.”

“No you can’tzh.”

“I can. I can and I can crawl under there and grab them too.”

“Pleaszhe don’t.” 

“Eight! You said a ’t’!”


“And an ’s’!”

“I can do it szhometimeszh.”

“I know. And you’ll do it more.”

“What does it mattzher - you care more that he waszhn’t going to like me, notzh if I was mad at you.” peeks head under door “We are good at szhchool. Like really good.”

sits against door “I know.”

“You’re kind of a bully szhometzhimeszh.”

peeks head under to match “Hey!”

wiggles saddle shoes back and forth “Itzh’szh OK. I’ll just call you Timmy instead of Thirty One now.”

“Nice ’t’s, Eight.”

“Thanks. Yourszh too.” 

sighs, lays on floor, pats Eight’s leg “Anyway, Timmy works at a car wash now and hates everyone.” 

giggles “Good.”